I am currently taking a class with my sister and throughout the whole semester we will be working in the same team. At the beginning of the class we each took a personality test and our teacher organized the teams with that information, so one group isn't full of members with similar personalities. My sister and I have been excited to take this class together, so we asked if we could be on the same team and tried to use that we are different personalities as a leg up. He gave us a straight up "NO". I mean, we figured that would be the worst that could happen, but we thought we might as well give it a try. I asked his reasoning, and he said that even though we have different personalities, culturally we are the same.
Okay, so that would mean that our family has a culture, right? YES!
What is culture?
A few definitions actually…
1. the arts and other manifestations of human intellectual achievement regarded collectively.
2. the customs, arts, social institutions, and achievements of a particular nation, people, or other social group.
Regarding family culture, we are talking about the second one. Relating this to a family culture, we are talking about shared attitudes, common values, goals, and practices. Now that I have learned this in class, I now better understand what my teacher was talking about when he said that my sister and I are culturally the same, in ways other than having the same ethnicity.
Culture involves our Socio-Economic Class. Another word for this is Status. Some of the things that come to mind when I think of status, and also shows what makes up Socio Economic Class are for one, materialistic things like clothes, cars, furniture, etc. Another is Education, more specifically, whether or not you have a formal education. The size and location of your home, your speech and mannerisms, the extracurricular activities you and your children are involved in. And for one more, the thing that makes all of the other ones possible in one way or another, income.
One maybe a little silly example but I think that it relates is buying brand name items versus off brand. I grew up with my mom (and dad) only buying name brand grocery items. After I got married and my husband and I would go grocery shopping together, he would always ask and still does after two years of marriage, “Why don’t we just buy the off brand?”. His mom would buy a lot of items off brand and that is what he was used to. Now we have two different cultures coming together. I have been able to buy some things off brand, but certain things I just can’t come to do it. We have been able to join these two cultures and figure out what works best for us. This shows me that culture is in every single part of our lives, even if it is something as minute as buying the name brand of a can of beans or not.
After reflecting a lot about family culture, I think that one of the most important things that will help us have a healthy family culture that is balanced and we love, is to make conscious decisions. If we are being more aware of what our shared attitudes, common values, goals, and practices are, then we will know what we want to be a part of our family systems or not.
This is a quote from churchofjesuschrist.org on families which I love and think is a good reminder to all of us. “Strong families require effort. Your family will be blessed as you do your part to strengthen it. Be cheerful, helpful, and considerate of family members. Many problems in the home come from family members speaking and acting selfishly or unkindly. Seek to be a peacemaker rather than to tease, fight, and quarrel. Show love for your family members each day. Share your testimony with your family through words and actions. Your righteous example can make a difference in strengthening your family.”
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