When I first got married, it was full of so much excitement, new beginnings, and a lot of love. It also included a lot of change. My husband and I did not live together before marriage or were sexually active before either. These two things were both new, meaning there was a lot of transitions with those but there is so much more that is changing as well.
There are important lessons and information that can help us make this transition easier. One thing, which we talked about last week, is dating. From dating to marriage, we can think of it as four steps. First, dating. Second, courtship. Third, engagement. Fourth, marriage. Some tend to slide down from dating to marriage. When said like that, we can think of marriage at the bottom of a slide and dating at the top. We really should be thinking of it the opposite way. Marriage should be at the top of say a pyramid, and we should be taking the proper steps to reach the top successfully. As we are climbing up to marriage, our commitment should also be climbing up instead of sliding down.
Research shows that when a couple runs into a marital problem or dissatisfaction in your marriage (which will all come to some at one time or another and in some form or another), the woman will most always go back to the relationship beginning and reflect on that. This research is a great example to me of how if we date correctly and build that foundation how it needs to be built, then it can help us in our marriages and not just at the time that we are dating.
President Spencer W. Kimball gave a talk in 1976 titled “Oneness in Marriage” and I think everything in it applies so much to everyone today even though it was from over forty years ago. He gives us four ingredients to a recipe of a happy and successful marriage. Before he gives us these four ingredients though, he says that each spouse needs to be determined, unselfish, and righteous. The first ingredient is to have a proper approach toward marriage. This goes right back to before and includes dating. Second, we need to be very unselfish. Third, even after marriage we need to continue to court and show kindness and admiration to keep the love alive. This also goes back to dating. Fourth, both spouses need to be “keeping the commandments of the Lord as defined in the Gospel of Jesus Christ”. These four ingredients for a recipe to a happy and successful marriage seem so simple and easy, yet so many have unhappy marriages and the divorce rate is high. It may seem simple and easy, but it does take effort and work which will ultimately pay off.
1 Corinthians 7 verse 16 says “For what knowest though, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? Or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?”
This scripture was brought up in my class, and at first, I think it isn’t the easiest to understand. But as I pondered it more, it reminds me how we should be cleaving to our spouse and how important that is. We wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for the fall, and the fall couldn’t have happened without Adam and Eve, a husband and a wife. There are so many transitions in marriage and it can and will be hard. There are also so very many prophetic promises associated with marriage and if we learn of them and follow the council given with them, our marriages will be blessed and we can have better transitions through life with our spouse by our side.
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