After discussing physical intimacy in my Family Relations class, I decided on 9 main points that are important to know and keep in mind to help have success and happiness in physical intimacy in marriage.
Be Educated – I think this is so important, especially for the beginning of marriage. If we are more educated about sex then there are less questions, pressure, and then less frustration. There is already so much stress at the beginning of marriage, so if we can educate ourselves in such an important aspect of marriage, we can then be less stressed.
Communicate – If we can talk about sex, we can talk about anything. This can be a very sensitive topic to talk about with anyone, but even our spouses. If we learn how to communicate then we will be able to explain our needs, wants, or frustrations.
Know the Reasons – This does relate to being educated, but this one dives a little deeper in about reasons why. For example, why we wait to have sexual relations until marriage, what The Family: A Proclamation to the World really means and how we can apply it to our life, and how sexual intimacy can bless our marriages besides being able to expand our families with children.
Togetherness – A few weeks ago, we talked about how time, togetherness, and talking help us get to know who we are dating or our significant others. Not to be too straight up, but if we aren’t that close together and feel distant from each other, it would be hard to have sex with a stranger. We need to have experiences with each other so we feel comfortable and that we can become as one.
Dating – The last one really ties into this one. When my husband and I are being good at going on frequent and meaningful dates, I am more turned on and wanting to make more of an effort for sex with my husband when we are both putting effort toward dating as a married couple like we did, and if not more, than before we were married.
Be selfless – Like I said before, it is if we are both putting effort, but if you are focusing on being selfless than your significant other is going to notice that and realize how good it makes them feel, and then they will want to do it back. Not that you are doing it to get something in return but do it out of love and to bring in more love and togetherness in your marriage with physical intimacy.
Show Kindness – It’s really hard to connect with someone if they are mean, and if you are being mean, then they most likely will not want to connect with you. If we are kind to each other then we bring back that sense of togetherness to create a stronger emotional and physical bond.
Admire – This can come in so many different forms. One thing that comes to my mind when I think of admiring my spouse or showing admiration, is the love languages. Learn what not only your significant others are, but also what your own are so you can then communicate with your spouse and come together.
Keep the Commandments – This is the final one, and it sounds so simple and maybe even cliché, but it is so important and can make all of the difference. When we are doing what we are supposed to be doing, Heavenly Father will bless us and help other things in our life work out the way it needs to be. I love the visual representation of the marriage triangle. God is at the top, and the husband and wife are at the bottom corners. When we work on our relationship with God and become closer to Him, we then become closer to our spouse as they work their way up the triangle as well.
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